Saturday, November 14, 2009

Shake It Down Low

So, the kids are involved in this homeschool theater troupe, and the ladies running it are very interested in fostering a "family-friendly atmosphere" - by which they apparently mean no mention of human reproduction, since the play they picked would get a thumbs-up from Glen Beck and Lou Dobbs for its anti-government, anti-Mexican overtones.

All right then, we're encouraging chastity. No problem. I applaud chastity. If your T-shirt proclaims you to be "bound for Glory" and this theater troupe is one of your rest stops on the journey, that works for me.

But I just. don't. get. the Miley Cyrus thing in the cultural context of preserving youthful virtue. Our teenage choreographer is adapting a "Hannah Montana" routine called The Ice Cream Freeze to serve as the show's main dance number. The tweens and teens in the troupe, clearly familar with the entirety of Miley's ouevre, enthusiastically requested the chance to perform this dance in front of their evangelical families and friends.

Am I crazy? When Miley shakes her milkshake and shakes it down low, is it not her ass that is actually doing the shaking? When she exhorts the boys to follow her lead and party all night, is she leading them to a tent revival? Why is this acceptable media consumption in a culture that claims to enforce a draconian version of sexual modesty?

If my children were 10 and 14 instead of 3 and 5, I'd have to pull them out of the fundie theater troupe because I'd be embarrassed to have them do those moves, to those lyrics, in front of a crowd. Never in my life did I think I'd be the most sexually uptight mom in the room, most certainly not in a room full of Southern Baptists. It's really weird.

YouTube is full of tweens who love to do the Ice Cream Freeze. I don't want to inadvertently publicize any minors gyrating, but search for "ice cream freeze dance" or "let's chill" if you want to see a medley of stuff that would be no big deal at a slumber party, but probably doesn't belong ALL OVER THE GODDAMNED INTERNET FOR THE PERVS OF THE WORLD TO JACK OFF TO.

3 Comments:

Blogger antijen said...

It seems so contradictory, doesn't it? If they think sex is evil, why allow such a sexual dance? Do they think Bratz dolls are ok too? I'm mystified.

10:43 PM  
Blogger Yael said...

My nine year old goes to a hip hop dance class. they are doing a routine to Beyonce's "Sweet Dream". I am happy with the moves she is learning? no? can I stop her? If I really wanted to but I'm not sure. Hopefully no one is filming her class and putting it on youtube.

4:46 AM  
Blogger Smithie said...

Yeah, I'm hoping that this play doesn't wind up on YouTube either. They do seem to be aware of the YouTube thing, since when I was taking the practice video one of the moms asked me to "password protect" it. Of course, that wouldn't stop any of the individual kids from saving the file and uploading it to YouTube themselves...

5:51 AM  

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