Sunday, May 13, 2007

A Mother's Day post*

Those of you who've known me for a long time online know that I'm against Mother's Day. I've got very good reasons to be against it, all of which have to do with my abusive mother and the way society and the media drive home for me every year that I don't have what's "normal." And that I will never have that. She's not going to get less crazy. We can't go back in time and have her fix the awful things she did to me when I was living in her house.

My feelings about today are, of course, compounded by our long and as-yet-unsuccessful attempts to become moms. Most of the time, I do a fairly good job of not feeling sorry for myself and of knowing that this is our journey, whatever it looks like, and no one really knows what all will happen along the way.

I've decided not to go to church today for any number of reasons, one of them being that last year, someone hugged me during the peace and said, "Happy Mother's Day! Oh, no, wait! You're not a mother!" I can't take it today. I just can't.

I hope that, someday, if I'm blessed with children, I'll remember somewhere in my heart what it's like to be one of those women who wants to be a mom and isn't, for whatever reason. I hope that I'll look back on posts like these and think about what would have been helpful and welcome to me today. I hope I don't forget.

I want to send special Mother's Day greetings to all of you who are trying to conceive, thinking about trying, getting ready to try, coming to terms with "trying" not being enough, taking a break, thinking about what else/more you're going to do, pursuing other options, going through training, going through testing, saving your pennies to make parenthood a reality for you, just starting to read about your cycle, thinking about single parenthood, peeing on sticks regularly, and anyone else in the throes of this who can use some extra love today.

*Part of this post was snagged from something else I wrote in an online community. The entire post is cross-posted at frogblog.


Anonymous anxiety symptoms said...

This is really a good post as we should realize the importance of a mother at first place. She's really the main guide of our life forever which should honour and respect her all the time.

12:25 AM  

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